I was speaking to a colleague at work and something she said triggered memories of the past and I’ve been living in that head space for the last few hours.

Both of my parents, came to this country from Ecuador in the early 70s. First my Dad, who then about a year later sent for my Mother and Brother. I had a Sister but she died before her second birthday and may have been the beginning of the end when it came to my Mother’s mental state but I will leave that story for another time.

I was born in 1972 in a small hospital that no longer exists in Sunset Park, Brooklyn (St Elizabeth Ann Seton Hospital) and then we moved a little after my second year here on Earth to Bay Ridge, Brooklyn. Bay Ridge was a magical place and was predominantly Irish-Italian. I learned English in a Lutheran Sunday school and started out my public school career at PS 170. But when I hit 4th grade, my Dad switched us to Catholic School and we wound up at Our Lady of Angels. Even back then, media and magazines has a specific beauty ideal that I did not subscribe too and I had a lot of self loathing. I hated being different and wished I was Irish or Italian and looked like everyone else at the school. If I hung out with kids of my parent’s friends, who mostly lived in Sunset, I was treated like I was some hoity toity girl (I wasn’t) and my friend in the Ridge were few and I always felt less than – not because anyone made me feel that way but because the internal monologue in my head raged constantly against my Latin roots and everything I was.

When it was time to go to high school, I fought my parents to attend a specialized school in Manhattan instead of a local parochial school. By then I was so conflicted about me and my place in the world and was moody and sullen all of the time. I decided to go the High School of Fashion Industries and it was a blessing because it opened my eyes to a wider world and helped me become more compassionate and tolerant as I was now a small fish in a very huge but diverse melting pot. While I enjoyed my time at OLA, nothing beat my 4 years in high school where I made fast friends that I still keep in touch with today.

I sometimes look back on my years of self loathing and it makes me so sad – so much time and energy wasted but I had no one to really talk to about it. However high school definitely opened up my eyes to the larger world and to a range of people that living in the Ridge didn’t really expose me to and I am grateful to the Fates that steered me in that direction. I don’t think I would be half as cool without my time at HSFI and the memories I made with all the people I met there.