Today is the first day of 2021 and after the year we’ve all just shared, I have a myriad of feelings about it. On the one hand I feel like 2020 was unlike anything anyone of us had ever experienced so it feels like this can’t be worse and yet there is a voice in the back of my head that keeps saying, in it’s know-it-all-way “you just wait.” So I’ve rationalized to NOT tempt fate and just go with it.

When I woke up this morning I had this overwhelming feeling of “oh is this it?” 2020 was, if nothing else, like the crazy unrelenting action movie where things just go so horribly wrong at every turn and the tension never lets up. I looked out the window and everything looks the same which feels weird but may also be a blessing.

As a pessimist, I decided to try and look for the silver lining this year and to practice more gratitude. So I’m challenging myself to write everyday this year, one thing I am truly grateful for.

While 2020 was definitely the “hold my beer” of years, I have a confession to make: I was okay for the most part. In the beginning the anxiety, surrealness and not knowing really impacted my mind. I had trouble sleeping at times, especially on the nights when the ambulance sirens tore through the night like a dagger. Other nights, I would find the absolute quiet all around disconcerting. But once a routine was established, some of the unease slipped away and I never realized how much I hated commuting to work until I no longer needed to. I have been lucky, to work for an employer that allows me to work from home. I am truly grateful for that. But on this first day of the year, I want to highlight my family – my husband and daughters – for being there and for being everything and maybe even more than I ever could have dreamed of. When I met my now husband, I had no idea we would be on this wonderful 20 year journey, that even with its few bumps, has been a magical time, made all the better because of the growing love and the addition of our 2 fabulous little girls – they will stomp their feet at the thought of being called “little” but I will always see them as my little girls.

On this first day of 2021 I am most grateful for my family, who have eased the uncertainty and filled my soul with love and heart with hope.